A First Year’s Odyssey

Written by: Leslie Guerra

In the exact moment you walk away from your high school’s closing doors, you think about how many other ones you’ll open. At least in my experience, as I walked away, the wind hit my face and demanded I didn’t look back. With proliferating nostalgia, I simultaneously longed for the uncertainty of where I’d go and who I’d become. I knew that the most certain thing about doors was that one closing opens thousands more. I knew that regardless of what the opening door led you to, it is the place one is meant to be. The months leading up to graduation, I desperately yearned for the change I thought I needed. That meant moving away from home would solve all the problems an 18-year-old could possibly have. Perhaps I was bored in my routine or needed new awakenings. In a matter of time, I came down to Earth and realized it was up to me to drive my person to the places I want to find myself in. The common trigger in a cliche like “it's up to me to save the day” or “it’s up to me to make a difference” is that when people hear that “up to me to”, it’s mustered as an immediate threat of responsibility. And what the heck? Sure. Responsibility is malicious if that’s the way you choose to look at it. Yes, it’s against you. Yes, it doesn't want you to succeed. However, what’s so ironic about it and why it’s pushed since the beginning of time, is that you are responsible. In fact, (hoping this doesn't come as news) you are in complete control of it. You decide what responsibility means to you and implement that into your character. Now if it’s a part of you, it’s not against you. You're against yourself. Variably meaning you don't want yourself to succeed- but in essence. Life and college make sure you’re aware of this. They often say that you only get two best years of college. Your first two or your last two years. There’s no in-between. Although what you don't hear quite often is how your very first year of college is life changing, actually life changing. Any expectations you had of college! Boom! Destroyed! Of course, this is different for everybody, and experiences like this are as variable as the weather is. Let me get down to Earth for a second and fill you in on a little secret, it’s acutely isolating. Now it's not necessarily a dreadful thing, most college students prefer that since it allows them to be more productive. You go from walking everywhere with your friends and eating lunch with them, to seeing them once a week if you're lucky, and eating lunch with YouTube at the library. Then inevitably, you meet new people in college that are vastly different from who you're used to and realize, “maybe I wouldn't like them as much if they were just like my high school friends.” College is not as loud as you’d think (avoid taking this too literal). Another misconception about college is that you must graduate in four years, which couldn't be far from the truth. Only one in five students graduate in four years. It’s completely acceptable to graduate in five or six or eight years. It’s a self-paced process where the common goal is to graduate. There's no pressure to graduate when students must learn to balance attending classes, study, attend meetings, extracurriculars, eat, have a life, and get sleep. My advice, get a planner (IMO digital planners are the best), and plan your day to the hour. You own your time now, consume responsibly. Speaking of responsibility, it’s encouraged to attend all your 8 a.m. 's and 9 a.m.'s but two 9 a.m. 's in particular... registration. These are the actual hunger games and Peeta will be the reason you join the waitlist for the class you really wanted to sign up for. There’s an unknown chance of you moving up the waitlists but for all worst-case scenarios, always have a backup class that works best for you. There are classes as early as 8 a.m. and as late as 8 p.m. As a commuter myself, I found going to school three days out of the week instead of five was the most financially convenient. You do own your availability now, and you get to choose how much time you want to dedicate to attending school, studying, and working. It’s not like the earlier schools you've attended where your breakfast and lunch are scheduled, and you're chained to a building for eight hours. So really, you can be anywhere you want to be at any given time with of course the consequences of your own actions. What’s funny and so ironic is that professors will tell you just that. Although they never talk about guilt. At least in my case, I didn't know I’d associate guilt with college. If you don't go to class and end up passing it, you feel guilty for those that did attend and maybe didn't pass. But if you don't go to class and you don't end up passing it, you may rest with guilt. I promise you, the “high” of being somewhere you're not supposed to be won't work throughout college.